Today I went to the post office to mail some packages. We have a very small local post office with one very nice counter employee. As I approached the counter, she was not there, but another employee walked by and said she'd be right back, so I placed my packages on the counter. A woman walked in behind me and asked the man walking past the counter if they had any more Star Wars stamps. He said yes and kept walking. As the clerk reappeared at the counter, she said to me perkily, "you have a lot of packages today!" The woman behind me asked anxiously over my shoulder if there would be anyone else coming out to help because "I just need some stamps." Yes, apparently something is on fire and only stamps will put it out. Or you've left the bichon in the Lexus with the windows rolled up again. Or a little boy is dying and he can only be revived by Star Wars stamps. BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE ONLY REASONS I CAN THINK OF WHY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THE MORE YOU TALK TO THE CLERK, THE MORE TIME IT IS GOING TO TAKE ME TO GET MY PACKAGES MAILED, THUS, THE LONGER IT IS GOING TO TAKE FOR YOUR TURN. The clerk, who is very sweet, looked at me and asked if I minded letting her go first, since she just needed some stamps.
At this point, let me say that I am one of those people who holds the door for everyone, male or female, always offers to let the person with the one box of tampons or carton of milk go before me in the store and I even let other cars turn left in front of me if I am in slow-moving traffic. I blink my lights at trucks that need to change lanes. This is the post office, in a town with a very large retired community, with a clerk who is fairly casual when it comes to speed. Nothing is going to happen fast, and we've all had to learn to live with it and wait our turns.
I put up my hands and let this woman play through, but I really wanted to tell her that I didn't mind so much that she went in front of me, in fact, I might have offered it, if she hadn't shouted over my shoulder and forced the issue with the clerk.
On a related subject, yesterday I got to the gym with just enough time to get in a quick swim before date night. (We had a great dinner at Uva, by the way.) Usually I'm prepared for running or swimming, but this time I only had my swim gear with me. All three lanes of the pool were occupied, so I took my time stretching and gearing up at the side, scoping out the lane possibilities.
Two lanes were occupied by wide-wingspan men with splashing strokes, and the third was occupied by a small woman, swimming slowly but steadily. I approached her lane and stood near the end until she reached the end of the lane. At which point, she turned around like a little turtle with her head under water and swam away to the other end, where she repeated the head-down turn, head-down swim. This happened once more, with me standing at the end of the lane, waving at her. I didn't want to jump in on her, because she was not looking up at all as she swam. My workout time was ticking away. I sat at the end of the lane, off to the side, with just my legs sticking in, hoping she'd see me and start swimming on one side. I waved my hand in front of her face as she approached the turn. Again she turned around and swam away. Finally, the next lap, I waved my hand in front of her face again and said, "Hi!"
She stopped and looked at me and I said, "Hi. Do you mind if we split the lane?" To which she replied, "Go ask those guys" waving limply toward the splashers, "I only have six to go." (Six what? Laps? 100's? Years?) I said, "I'm sorry, I only have 20 minutes to work out today. Those guys are big, with big wingspans. Do you mind if I just swim on one side of this lane? I promise I won't run into you." She said, "Alright." I said, "Which side do you want?" She said, "Let's swim circles." at which point, she, the MUCH MUCH SLOWER person, took off.
At first glance, you might think I was pushing the entitlement issue, like the woman in the post office, but in swimming, there are very clear pre-set rules for lane-sharing.
If anyone is ever in the situation where they have to share a lane at a pool, let me explain swimmer's etiquette to you:
1. If all lanes are occupied, the next person out on the deck who appears to have intent to swim (goggles and a cap are a good clue) will split with someone. The polite thing to do if all three lanes are occupied is to look up periodically for swimmers on deck and offer to split. The polite thing to do if you are the second in the lane is to make sure the first swimmer sees you, and allow them to choose their preferred side of the lane. If they do want to swim in circles, try to time your laps for minimum contact at the ends, spacing yourselves at least 5 seconds apart if not more.
2. When two swimmers are sharing a lane, each swimmer takes one side of the center line, being careful as they approach so as not to whack each other. Butterfly is kept to a minimum. Try to kick with very little splash if the person next to you is breathing towards you. Two swimmers can also swim in a circular pattern, going up on the right and returning on the left, however, they should be well matched in speed. Both swimmers need to be alert and allow for faster swimmers to pass at the ends of the lane. When resting, swimmers need to stay off to the side of the lane so that people still swimming can execute turns.
3. When three or more people need to share a lane, it's necessary to swim circles. The fastest swimmer should go first, followed at at least five-second intervals by the next fastest, etc. If the swimmer behind you touches your toes during the lap, you should offer to let them go first at the next turn. All of the rules of number 2 above apply.
4. Whenever two or more people are swimming in one lane, courtesy is the rule. Be aware of where the other swimmer is at all times to avoid accidents. You may have to modify your swim intervals to allow the other person to swim through.
Just FYI. Because my gym pool is used by spa patrons, and also serves as the hotel pool for the inn next door, there are times when people seem to be bobbing about in it, oblivious to the fact that the lane lines and time-clock are there for a reason. I've been wanting to get the word out for a long time. Too bad there aren't any rules of etiquette for the post office. Besides the obscure and little-known convention of first-come, first-served, of course.
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