Where Are Clinton and Stacy When You Need Them?

Today, people, I went shopping. Today was my designated shopping day. I donned an easy to doff dress and slip-on shoes, and went forth into buying battle, prepared to try on as many dresses as it took to find THE dress.

I may not have mentioned this, but I have an upcoming high school reunion, and as you may or may not know, it is all about the dress. Or it becomes all about the dress.

At first, it is about the excitement. Who will I see? How will they look? What have they been up to? And then YIKES! the realization hits: Who will see me? How will I look? And most importantly, how can I find a dress that makes me look like I have not been doing what I have been doing for the last 25 years, i.e., slowly losing the battle with my genetic material.

A month ago, I thought I'd found the perfect dress, and I felt so smug. I was relaxed. I wouldn't have to go through that last-minute dress panic. And then I read the invitation: "Semi-formal." Hmmm. Well, semi-formal means cocktail dress or dressy separates, but just how dressy? A semi-formal affair, in Oakdale, at a place called the "Almond Pavilion" ...anything could happen. My dress, while flattering, is jersey, which is definitely a non-semi-formal material.

There is a fine balance between looking fabulous and trying too hard. There is also a fine balance, especially at my age, between semi-formal and Mother of the Bride. The choices available in the stores are either strapless or dowdy. Anything cute is too small or too revealing. Anything with upper arm coverage is the dress equivalent of a bathing suit with a skirt.

Velvet and sequins are obviously out. Velvet is out of season and sequins are trying too hard. Of course, someone who still has the body they had in high school (which was great to start with) by means natural or otherwise, will wear sequins, and everyone who rejected the sequins will curse her choice. Someone is going to wear the perfect thing, and then no matter what I choose, I'll smack myself in the head wishing I'd found it first.

Silk charmeuse is beautiful, eternally sexy, and shows every curve. Especially the ones you don't want to show. It's as comfy as a nightgown and looks like one. It is also one of those unfortunate fabrics, like linen and rayon, that reverberates when you walk. (Take note.) Powerful undergarments must be worn. Or no undergarments at all over a drum-tight body. I have neither powerful undergarments (nor the desire to wear them), nor do I have the flat stomach and stairmaster butt that I once (so briefly) had. But the dress of my dreams is made of gunmetal gray, heavy silk and feels like pajamas. It's ruched here and boosted there; part siren, part bombshell. (Sigh.) *I realized later while re-reading this that it sounds like more an air-raid than a reunion dress!

It also comes with its own theme song, confetti and a banner overhead: "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU LOOK FABULOUS!".

You can see the potential pit-falls of shopping for such a magic dress. But today, today was worse than merely full of pits to fall in. It was the pits. July is a great time for bargain shopping-- if you're looking for mis-matched bathing suits or cheap cotton separates in the reject colors from Spring. But it is the WORST time to shop for THE dress.

Today was also my first trip out into a mall since this whole economic slowdown. Let me tell you, it was bleak out there. The rubber has met the road. I could have driven a car between the racks in some of those stores, they were so sparsely stocked. The teenage salespeople were so bored out of their minds they'd actually keep talking as the few shoppers slipped in like ant scouts looking for sugar. A few, god bless them, actually made eye contact and welcomed us to the store.

With the closing of the Mervyn's chain, there were dark corners in the mall that didn't exist before. Some mall official had tried to stuff a few benches and fake potted plants in the corners, but there was no lighting yet, so it just looked sad and dark. I mentioned how quiet it seemed to a girl at one of the counters, and she said, "Oh, I think everyone's at the fair." Meaning the county fair. If the people who go to the county fair are the only mall customers left, we are really in trouble.

But back to my problem. So I tried one mall (the closest one, 45 minutes away) but they had no dresses. I went to the other mall in the same town, which I described above. In desperation, I came home, fortified myself with a tomato sandwich and went forth again, to the local outlet mall. I tried on three dresses, all casual, just to try on something. I went through every shop, even though I knew some of them wouldn't have a thing.

This is not fun shopping, this is work shopping. This is goal-oriented, thankless, pavement-pounding shopping. This is the search for the wearable holy grail. And it's taking place all over the country as women attempt to dress for the summer's remaining reunions and weddings.

All I can say is, good luck girls! And if one of you finds my dress, you know where to find me. I'll be waiting here under the banner.

Peachy Keen

Summer is glorious, isn't it? I know we're finally there when I can have these luscious peaches for breakfast, and fat, juicy slices of heirloom tomatoes on my sandwich at lunch.

Pupsicles

Last week when it was so hot, I froze some cut up vegetables in a bowl of ice. The next day, I put them out for the dogs to try out. At first they were a little hesitant, but as soon as Tugboat figured out there was food involved, he pretty much monopolized the snow-cone.

This week I let them bob for fruits and veggies in the kiddie pool.

At the Risk of Spoiling the Surprise...

I thought these fly-fishing flies were so lovely that I wanted to show them to you. I bought them as a his and hers set for a recently married couple I know. Shhhhh. Don't tell. I'm giving them their present tomorrow.

I Have Issues

I have issues. Oh, yes I do. And while I've curbed my catalog habit and have cut my magazine subscriptions down to one or two (currently Family Fun, which I'm going to cancel, and Photoshopuser, which comes with my NAPP membership), I still have magazines. I like to buy the latest Bust, and ReadyMade if I see something that interests me. And I like to refer to them often for inspiration and amusement.

BEFORE:

So, following the Assess, De-junk, Renew philosophy of organization

(Jeezus Mary and Josephine, is that guy outside done weed-whacking YET?!)

...following the methodology of Assess, De-junk, Renew, I took stock of my stacks, measured my mags and decided a trip to IKEA was in order, for a narrow shelf that would fit in the space between my window seat and my existing bookshelf. I've tried to purchase matching bookshelves each time so that when we move, they can be reconfigured to fit the necessary space. Billy and I go way back. Billy Birch, to be more precise. I was a little dismayed to find that the new birch shelf did not match the old birch shelves when I got it home, but I am hoping they will all darken to the same tone over time.

A little bit of assembly, another trip to Cost Plus for the cute folding magazine holders (made of 100% recycled paper) and voila, an organized magazine space and a cozy, well-lit reading nook. Next step is to get up there and attach the reading light and fasten all of these shelves to the wall so that they don't crush me if there is ever an earthquake.

AFTER:



The folders that you see on the second shelf up from the bottom are where I keep clippings from magazines. It keeps me from saving a whole magazine for one article. When I'm feeling like I need some clothes, or something for the house, I flip through the clippings and reacquaint myself with the things I like. If I can't figure out what it was I liked in the first place, I throw the page away. It's a rotating scrapbook of style and ideas.

I was also casually looking for a cheap wine rack to hold all of my rolled paper goods (wrapping paper, posters, paper samples, etc.) but I didn't find what I was looking for, so I made this one out of the box that the shelves came in. Bonus! It's not pretty, but it's in a hidden spot and it keeps things from falling on the fax machine.


(I collect vintage train cases, btw, so if anyone has one or finds one at a yard sale that looks like the ones you see here, send me a picture and I'll pay postage to get it here. I like squarish cases, leather and funky, 60s florals a big plus. Beach colors are good, but I like 'em all.)

Oops, I Did It Again

After languishing (on vacation and otherwise) for two months, having finished my first, triumphant though slightly surreal sprint triathlon, I finally decided that the best way to get my motivation back was to sign up for another one.

In retrospect, I was somehow able to minimize the sleeplessness, race day jitters, and the overwhelming feeling that I did not know what the heck I was doing, and maximize the memories of that great big grin I wore from the time I got out of the water to the time I finished the run. So yes, I'm doing it again, determined this time to do it just a little bit better and faster than before. Please, please make the water just a tad warmer. Just a tad.

(And if anyone in California or Seattle knows of someone who has a 54cm (cm? mm?) women's road bike for sale that won't break my bank, you can find me on facebook!)

Just Visiting

Way down at the bottom of my blogroll, there was a link called "Tiny Baby". Trevor James Millimaci was a baby whose site I came across one day while bloghopping through random sites. He was very, very tiny when he was born, with many complications. I think his mom started the blog because it was all she could think of to do with her time, since he was stuck there in the hospital, connected to feeders and machines and tubes, and she was home, without him.

I was once a premature baby too, so I took interest in this little guy.

Week after week, I'd tentatively pop in, hoping things were looking up, and that he'd eventually go home. And he did. I rooted for him each time he'd gain a pound. His mom posted pictures of him with his big sisters as he grew and grew, and started to look more like a little guy and less like a very, very premature baby.

He had big round eyes and a surprised o of a mouth. He wore fuzzy blue outfits and a cow Halloween costume. He had a Christmas. He smiled. A lot. And he started to talk. And then, some time in late June, when I'd let my visits to the site lapse for many months, Trevor James Millimaci died.

It seemed like he was home free. He was so much bigger and stronger, and he had people that loved him, and I'm sure they hoped and hoped he was out of the woods. But parts of him weren't strong enough.

I was just going to delete the link and not say anything. I didn't know him, didn't know them, at all. But as I scrolled through the pictures that preceded the image of the flowers in the cemetery, I saw his smile, just like any other little baby's, and the hopeful posts of childhood milestones finally, heroically reached, and I couldn't let him just disappear without saying something. In this peculiar internet world, we can't help but make human connections. I cared about what happened to him.

Rest in Peace, beautiful Trevor James Millimaci. If there is a heaven, you are in it, and all the things that little boys love are there.

Almost Forgot

Of course, this was the thing I sat down to write about yesterday and I left it out completely. I made up this dip one day for cold veggies and the little ones scarfed it down. If you prefer, reduce the ratio of sour cream to silken tofu, or use fat-free sour cream.

Tamara's Blue Cheese Dip for Veggies
1/2 c sour cream, regular or fat free
1/2 c silken tofu
+/- 2 oz crumbled blue cheese (I like Buttermilk Blue)

The best way to blend this is with a stick blender, right in the bowl, but you can also do it in a food processor or blender. Blend just until smooth. If you have neither, use a fork and do the best you can. You can either blend everything together until smooth, or blend the tofu and sour cream until creamy and crumble in the blue cheese if you want to leave it chunky.

Cut an orange, yellow, or red bell pepper in half lengthwise, remove the stem and seeds and any extra white pith. Cut crosswise and then into one-inch sections. The curved ends of the pepper make nice little scoops. White Belgian endive also makes a nice little scoop (sometimes I use it with tuna salad made with grapes for lunch, yum), and also carrot and cucumber sticks.

This was my favorite suggestion from "Feeding the Kids": putting cut vegetables out with something to dip them in as an afternoon snack. Hungry people will munch on veggies!

Cold Suppers for Hot Nights

Why am I reading "Feeding the Kids"? I picked it up on impulse at the grocery store, because it promised a no-hassle, simple, flexible way to eat healthier. I thought, if it is simple enough for busy parents, and friendly enough for kids, then maybe Mike and I can manage it. So far, it's been pretty smart. I read the first two chapters and skimmed the rest before I loaned it to a friend (who DOES have a kid).

The first chapter, among other things, simply asks you to try to eat fruit three times a day. The second adds vegetables, three times a day, whenever it works for you, to try to make a habit of it. This alone is going to make you feel healthier and more energetic, and whether you buy the book or not, it's worth trying. It's easy. Especially now that it's summer and there are beautiful fruits and vegetables everywhere. The book also contains easy to incorporate strategies for decoding labels and categorizing the foods you eat.

Last night and tonight, it was just too hot to cook, so the sliced and pre-prepped vegetables and fruits hit the spot. Although the air-conditioner was on inside, it still felt withering every time we walked out the door. It's nice to have some cold vegetables, something to dip them in, and a few cold salads alongside. If I had some sliced meats, like prosciutto or salami, that would have been tasty too. Last night, it was big marinated beans (see Italian Antipasto, below, and if you can find Corona beans, buy them), hummus with raw peppers to dip, blanched green beans and endive and some leftover ribs. Tonight, we had a grilled skirt steak with a big cold crunchy romaine salad, with tomatoes, more green beans, egg and a little grated cheese.

It is also too hot to sit in front of the computer, so I'm going to keep it brief. Here are some past summer favorites from the blog to inspire your hot-weather antipasto cooking (or not cooking, as the case may be): Blue Cheese Dip with Vegetables, Two Bean Salad, Italian Antipasto, Basic Gazpacho, Three Good Cold Salads, Hummus and Return of the Hummus (great to serve pre-meal to kids or grown-ups with carrot and cucumber sticks, sliced sweet bell peppers, endive and anything else you can think of). Try Turkish White Bean Dip, too. Pretty soon, it's going to be time for Ratatouille as well. In case you think of that as something hot that can only be served with pasta, don't forget how delicious it is cold or ambient, spread on flatbread with a sprinkling of feta cheese, or cold on a sandwich or in a quesadilla...that should be enough to get you started.

On the way home, I also picked up two dozen beautiful, fragrant purple plums (I promise to always stop for handmade cardboard signs advertising fruit for sale from now on). These are soon going to be transformed into Plum Upside-Down Cake. If you have an abundance of fruit, you could also try this terrific cobbler dough. Lou Lane, if you're out there: zip THIS!

Happy Summer!

Pointless Drama

Summer Evening

All photos copyright Tamara Landre, 2009. All rights reserved.

Pickled Shrimp for Fathers Day

All photos copyright Tamara Landre 2009. All rights reserved.

The first time I saw this dish pictured in Frank Stitt's Southern Table, I knew I had to make it. I don't eat shrimp at all these days, because of the dangers to the ocean from farming and drag-netting, but as Jane Smiley so sagely put it, I still "harbor a fondness for the sins of my ignorant past": I LOVE shrimp. (You can use Kauai shrimp if you can get them, but no shrimp farming or fishing is without environmental impact.) Once a year, I suppose I can justify it.

They made a delicious appetizer, but also a very nice cold dinner on a hot night, with a variety of crunchy fresh vegetables on the side. I made enough to take a Mason jar full to my dad and grandfather today. (Shhhhh, don't tell!) Not too much that they can't polish them off before they head home in a couple of days. The pickled onions in the jar are delicious too.

Here's the recipe. By the way, if you get a chance to look at this cookbook, it is beautifully photographed, well and thoughtfully written, and full of inspiring, imaginative recipes. I hear from a very talented chef friend that the recipes all work, too.

Pickled Shrimp
Another Lowcountry classic, pickled shrimp is a favorite hors d'oeuvre for entertaining. and it gets even better after a couple of days' marinating. A nonreactive container, such as a glass canning jar, is best for holding the shrimp in the refrigerator. If you plan on keeping the shrimp more than a few days, however, it's best to sterilize your (heatproof) container first by boiling it in water for five minutes.

Serves 15 to 20 as an hors d'oeuvre

• 3 pounds Boiled Shrimp
• 2 medium onions, quartered and very thinly sliced
• 1 teaspoon celery seeds
• 1 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 6 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
• 14 bay leaves
• 1 teaspoon fennel seeds
• 1 teaspoon mustard seeds
• 4 dried hot chile peppers
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
• 1 teaspoon coriander seeds
• 1/4 cup white-wine vinegar
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and toss thoroughly. Pack everything into a large glass jar, cover, and refrigerate overnight to allow the flavors to come together. Serve with toothpicks and napkins.

Note: To cook shrimp, fill a large pot with water and add 1 onion, quartered, 1 celery stalk, cut into pieces, 1 lemon, sliced, and 4 flat-leaf parsley sprigs. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce the heat, and simmer for 15-20 minutes.

Add a tablespooon of salt and the shrimp. As soon as the water returns to a simmer, remove from the heat. The shrimp will have just begun to curl and have turned a bright pink. Do NOT allow the water to boil, or the shrimp will be tough. Drain, but do not rinse the shrimp, or the flavor will go right down the drain. Reserve the broth, if desired. Allow the shrimp to cool and proceed with the recipe as directed above.

I'll post a picture of my jars of shrimp too if I get a chance.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY, DADS AND GRANDPAS.

I was browsing for June birthday cards when I this one caught my eye. I was so moved by the text that I cried in the store. It still makes me cry, and yet, it is so beautiful. I hope that it is so. And in the case of my Grandma, it feels true. I miss her so much.

(From The Gentle Path, card photo by Rick Fuller)

It Must Be Summer

'Cause the kids are in the pool...

More Notes for New Moms

Here's more from the moms:

Jen R: Not advice but something I loved. Buy a really good quality stroller, if a double stroller, get a side-by-side with a front swivel wheel. Go out and enjoy the neighborhood. Just to get away from the TV and go outside and breath. Spring/summer babies are born at the perfect time to start a good relationship with the outdoors!

Coleen: I wish I'd had this thread before I had Sean. :)
My best advice is not to be too hard on yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, and trying for perfection is self defeating.

I read Anne Lamott's "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year of Life" before having Sean and at first I thought she was crazy to think (or actually admit) the things she did, but later I was grateful to know that at least one other mother felt the way I did when the baby cried and cried and I was totally sleep deprived and wishing I could put him back in the womb just for another week or so. ;)

Tamara: Thanks, Coleen! That's great advice.

I read Operating Instructions, too. That was a great book. (I'm just re-reading Bird by Bird right now.) You've got to love that honesty in Anne Lamott. She lays it out there, and the rest of us breathe a sigh of relief that we're not the only one hiding jealousy or frustration or feelings of hopelessness. And she has the guts and the wry humor to put it in a way that we can laugh with her and take ourselves just a little bit less seriously.

What's been neat about all of this is that all of the mothers sincerely want to help. There is so much comparing among other women-- who had the shortest (or longest) labor, who did or didn't get their figure back, who couldn't (horror!) breastfeed. It's so nice to feel such support from people for someone who is doing it for the first time. If I'd known this was out there, I might have thought more about having kids! I'm so excited about this little grandnephew. Since my sister and I aren't close, and my niece and I are, it's going to be fun to have a baby that I can spoil.

Jen P. Anne Lamott is one of my very favorite authors too. Operating instructions is a gift I usually give to new moms.

Tyla: There has been such an intense response to this thread that I've been thinking hard about what to add.

I guess, when it comes down to it, my best advice is to be very gentle with yourself when you're learning something new. It's really easy to look at the long days of feeling inadequate and miss the big picture...that this little thing, that demands so much, has been created out of what?... something bigger than I know how to comprehend.

The days are long, but the years are short. Appreciate the little things and know that each impossible moment will pass and things even out and you will catch your stride.
Ok. Enough with that...breast feeding a new born is NOT EASY for most! If it is easy for you...go with it. If it is HARD, then get help! Call a lactation specialist and get a nipple shield! Please, get a nipple shield. I used it with both of my children and they both "went natural" around 5 months. Smooth sailing after that. They got what they needed and I didn't have bleeding nipples. We both win!

Save your back and get an Ergo Carrier. Much better than a Bjorn.
I used cloth diapers. Use BioKleen detergent from Whole Foods or Charlie's on-line.

Also, expect your world to be turned upside down and get a good therapist!

Always ask questions! You will learn a lot when you start asking and stop complaining. I have learned from experience.

Join a Co-op nursery school when your child is old enough (3 years). The added work is worth it.
xxoo

Tamara: You are awesome, too, Ty! Thank you.

I have been so touched by all of your responses. Thank you so much.

Viva la Mama.