Spoke Too Soon

Here is the email I sent to close family members yesterday, after visiting with Grandma and Grandpa on Sunday:

"Mike and I went up to help them out with winterizing yesterday. Gma is doing pretty well-- seems a little more anxious, but no trips to the emergency room this week, and that's a good thing. Next time, we hope to be able to spend more time. Gpa has lost more weight, but he looks good. Often it's hard to get a read on how he's feeling on the phone, as there is always somebody right next to him. Sometimes the girls even answer the phone. But both of them seemed well this weekend other than that...and we all made it down from the roof safely.

The girls that come and help them are all very nice and have been doing a really good job keeping the house clean. Nichole (one of the caregivers) actually dismantled and cleaned the whole dining room chandelier, and I washed the tablecloth, so it's looking pretty good in the dining room along with all the dusting that you did. The living room stuff is now confined to the side nearest the door, and it looks like it's getting smaller.

We all sat down at the kitchen table and had meat and cheese sandwiches, soup, potato chips and bread-and-butter pickles, just like old times. It was so nice to sit at the table again! One question: Grandpa and I were looking for Grandma's cookbook from the 40's that used to sit right behind the TV in the kitchen. We couldn't find it upstairs in either of the bookcases, or in any of the kitchen drawers with the rest of the recipes. Unless someone knows where it is, we'll start going through the boxes until we find it, but I didn't see it when I was moving the stuff around in the living room either. Does anyone remember seeing it?"

And this morning, Tuesday, sometime between 3 a.m. and 12 p.m., Grandmother suffered another stroke that left in its wake the physical signs you always hear about. She's not talking right now, and we don't know if she will again.

Wow.

I hadn't thought about what a big deal that is until I typed it. She can still understand, as far as we know. As of this morning, the caregiver said she was understanding and responding to directions, but couldn't speak. The CAT scan confirms that there has been major damage this time.

Tomorrow will be as tomorrow will be. Dad and his new wife are flying in from Tennessee and Missouri. My uncle is coming up from Fresno tonight. The doctor says now is the time to visit, but I wish they had all been there in September. Grandma was still having a good time then. I wish that they had all been there on Sunday, too, to talk to her and see that despite the setbacks, she was comfortable. Anxious but happy, participating in conversations and jokes. She had her sense of humor--and her trademark icy glare at Grandpa when he told her she was doing just fine eating by herself. Earlier in the week, she had said she wanted to make applesauce from the apples on the little tree in their backyard. When Grandpa could only reach one, she-of-few-words-lately popped off with a perfectly sarcastic, "Oh, the last of the big spenders-- thanks a lot!"

Sunday, she remembered the location of her jam recipes at the bottom of a kitchen drawer and made me take them home. She told me at least ten times to be careful, thank goodness Mike fixed the dishwasher, and have a safe trip home.

Grandma, I wish more than anything that you have a safe trip home, too.

Love, Tamarina

Don't Vote- and Don't Miss This

The Saturday Night Live parody of the Vice-Presidential debate takes a little bit of the sting out of the fact that people actually praised the alleged Governor of Alaska for not completely blowing it.

If you'd like to view the fascinating celebrity "Don't Vote" video, hop on over to my friend Briana's blog for the link.

Don't forget that you have just over a week to register to vote. This election will make a huge difference: the prevailing party will put the judges of their choosing on the Supreme Court, and the rights that our mothers and grandmothers fought for in the 70s are on the line. Every single vote counts. Every woman's voice, young and old, needs to be heard. We cannot go back. We will not go back.

Missed You!

Hello darlings!

I feel like I'm curling up on a cushion in a sunny bay window with a cup of tea and a friend (more likely, a glass of wine!). I missed you!

I know the first question on your mind is "How is Grandma?" She is doing well, consistently staying out of trouble (mostly) and the emergency room (fingers crossed). Mike and I and possibly one of the dogs are going up this Sunday for a visit and work day to get a few things done that need to be done before the winter weather really sets in.

Pixie had her "tanks pulled" as Mike puts it, on Tuesday a week ago. I felt sort of bad getting her spayed, just because it was elective surgery, but it had to be done. She was fine with the surgery, but had a pretty hard time afterwards, a bad reaction to the anesthesia that made the vet keep her overnight. He's a great vet: he spent all evening with her at the office, up until 10 p.m. when he determined she could finally keep some food down. Sometimes she is a royal pain in the ass (like tonight, fidgeting around, stealing Tugboat's toys and chewing up the coasters when we're not looking), but I was so worried about her that day that I cried for hours, no lie. She was supposed to have nothing more strenuous than leash walks for two weeks, but she's so restless tonight that I don't think either one of us can handle not running for that much longer. I'm not a running freak, but when my days are busy, my gym time shrinks, so sometimes that hour with the dogs is the only workout I get. And I have to remind myself that there are only a few months (3 to 9) of her doggie teenagerhood left. If I can just survive this, I'll have one really nice dog and one totally neurotic one.

A couple of notes: Sarah Palin. WTF?! I thought I was overreacting to her, and then I saw the interview with Katie Couric. She is a joke! I don't really care anymore what she stands for-- she's a total idiot. The only thing I can think is that after the cute factor wears off, the Republicans hope that McCain will indeed die during his term and they'll have another clueless puppet president in the back pocket of the oil interests.

Saw the debate. Thought Obama was much more together and definitely more presidential than that woodchuck McCain. I really tried to listen with an open mind, but it was difficult. Here are some of the phrases I'd like to plaster to my car, were I the bumper-sticker type:

SARAH PALIN IS A JOKE

I JUST WANT A PRESIDENT WHO ISN'T EMBARRASSING

CAN YOU AFFORD FOUR MORE YEARS OF THIS?

and

THERE IS FAR TOO MUCH AT STAKE TO VOTE REPUBLICAN

Oh yeah, and based on the fact that a large number of people said that they voted for Bush because he seemed like the kind of guy they'd like to have a beer with:

THIS TIME, BUY McCAIN A BEER AND ELECT A REAL PRESIDENT.

Ok, that's enough of that. In the past, I've been always been blase about politics. I hate to say it, but has always been more like celebrity news to me. It never affected my daily life. Something to talk about, as remote and untouchable as goings-on at the space station. I got excited about Clinton and he disappointed me, so I'm reluctant to stand up and cheer for anyone. HOWEVER, I would like to be proud of my country again, and I would like to have respect for the person elected president. I don't know if Obama can change the way the world now perceives us, but it is important to hear that he understands the concept. Marching Band McCain and his wooden rendition of God Save the Regime doesn't work for me.

In other news...the girls and I had a fun day at the preview of the new Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park two weeks ago. The Academy officially opened this weekend, and 250,000 people attended. When we were there, I had the feeling that it would eventually grow into its space, but hearing that number (500 admitted every half an hour from a line in which people waited two-and-a-half hours) I'll bet the space was filled out as it was.








We checked out the scene then had a picnic on the green, did some hill-rolling under the Francis Scott Key statue after lunch, and then checked out some more. There are a lot of really cool things to see. I enjoyed watching the skates and rays in the lagoon. I'll probably go back by myself during the week sometime to sit in front of the coral reef and watch the fish. The alligators (crocodiles?) gave us a surprise thrill from the downstairs vantage point. The centerpiece rainforest was still being...forested... when we were there. In fact, I wondered if they'd get it all finished in time, given the number of things being unpacked, assembled, painted and built while we were visiting.

The penguins were cool, if a little surreal. They are situated at the end of the restored "African Hall" which is a display of incredibly skillful and realistic taxidermy of African animals. Sealed completely into their habitat, they appeared as in a giant fish tank. They were friendly and definitely interacted with those of us on the other side of the thick glass, but it was a little confusing to the smaller children. More than one asked why the taxidermied animals weren't alive, and if they were real. Well yes... and no... Maggie repeated our explanation that they were real on the outside, but not on the inside anymore. It's hard to remember that you're not exactly in a zoo. For a first day, it was pretty darn cool. I wasn't sure how much Maggie liked it, until she said, "I wish every day could be like today!"

After flailing around King of Thai on Clement Street, we made our way sleepily home. Ahhh.

Still more to catch up on. Talk to you soon.

Melon Granita

We are overwhelmed by beautiful melons from the veggie box at the moment, and this seemed like the best way to use up one or two that we couldn't get to.

Melon Granita

1 1/2 small melons, canteloupe, orange honeydew, etc.
1/4 cup sugar
fresh lemon juice to taste if desired

Cut peeled melon into chunks, place in blender, add sugar and lemon juice (if desired). Blend briefly, just until you have a slightly chunky puree. Pour into a metal cake pan and freeze. Scrape with a fork to make snow-cone textured granita. Serve with a garnish of mint leaves or a thin dutch butter cookie. An orange granita alongside a green honeydew granita would be an elegant, tasty and inexpensive dessert for a warm summer night.

The basic recipe I consulted called for 1/4 cup sugar and 1 tsp lemon juice to 2 cups melon. I used at least twice that much melon with the same amount of sugar and no lemon juice, because the melon was very sweet and I wanted the true flavor to come through. You could make this any way you like it.

That's it. It tastes absolutely divine, especially since my mouth is burning from the sriracha* on the take-out pizza we had for dinner tonight. I promise to try to photograph this some time in the next few days, as I realize I have been slacking on good food photographs since I took the photo class back in July and August.

*If you haven't tried sriracha on pizza, and you are someone who flirts with danger when it comes to the chile flakes on your pie, this may be your new best friend. Indispensable when it comes to chilis, curries and chinese peanut sauce.

And Now for Something Completely Different

Bunny with a Handgun

Sarah Palin is cute as a button. I admire a perky, smart, ambitious woman as much as the next person. I love that she's from a woodsy state like Alaska, wears big husky fur collars and was voted Miss Congeniality. How cute!

However (prepare yourself, o conservative reader) I believe that a woman's right to decide whether or not to carry and deliver a child is the most fundamental freedom. There is nothing more important. Without the right to decide for herself who lives inside her own body and when, a woman becomes no more than livestock. No man, no god, no party and no government has the right to make that decision. Cute though she may be, Sarah and her party are carrying hatchets meant to chop away my fundamental freedoms.

Nobody likes abortion. It's an ugly word that no one likes to say. I would love to live in a world where education, planning and prevention made abortion obsolete. So what if her "abstinence only" policy with her own children left her own young daughter high and dry?

According to the Washington Post, "The choice of Sarah Palin smacks of desperation..." She is being dangled before us, a cute hand-puppet, a spunky mom with troubles of her own, to distract us, to give the impression of change where there is none. Everybody loves moms, right? So what if it's an anti-gay mom?

It is almost unbelievable that Sarah Palin is being offered as an alternative to disenfranchised women who felt defeated when Hillary Clinton did not win the nomination. (Except that I'd believe just about anything at this point.) As long as the women in question don't really care what a woman in power believes, as long as she's a woman. As long as they don't give a hoot about the rights of their friends, their neighbors, or their daughters.

Lisa Schiffren, speechwriter for Dan Quayle (talk about the blind leading the blind!) says: "Talk about a role model for our daughters: Annie Oakley in the halls of power! With a newborn . . . and a son serving in Iraq. I am giddy!" Hmmm...except I think Annie Oakley might have been a lesbian, and therefore a non-person in Sarah's world, the newborn is her underage daughter's, and she thinks exploiting the Alaskan wilderness is the way to get us out of Iraq. Sorry, son!

How's Grandma?

That is the question of the day.

Grandma is great. In fact, I just called the house to thank Grandpa for referring me to Redwood Credit Union (they are so nice!) and she unexpectedly picked up the phone and chatted for a minute. Apparently, the caregiver got sick today and went home, so Grandpa made lunch.

Grandma is also 85. There are a lot of things that go along with being 85, most of which are a little too delicate for public airing. There are caregivers coming to the house to help out with basics each day. It's not an ideal situation, but it is the best thing for right now.

She seems pretty good, generally, except for the days when things go very badly. Those days sometimes wind up in the emergency room. But if you ask her, she'll tell you herself that she's doing better and better every day.

Who Are You, and What Have You Done with August?

Where were we?

Since I have no idea where we left off (ok, I read the posts, but before that) I'm going to start somewhere. Mike bought the audio book of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" recently and has made it to disk 3, so I've been listening to it in the car on my way to and from work so that I can catch up with him.

It is blowing my mind to think that the people in the book are people of my grandparents' generation. The urgency of youth is both enviable and sweetly naive. The rhythm of the prose is like the works of a ticking wooden clock, moving at a staccato clip and glinting with curious and unexpected little jewels. It's funny to be driving through the Napa Valley in the cool mornings, smelling fermentation happening, following grape gondolas and teams of dark and serious workers, and simultaneously hearing Kerouac's romantic rendering of the October mists of Fresno and his holy communion with dirt while picking cotton in the Big Valley.

Apropos of nothing, here are ten things I like right now:

My Grandma and Grandpa (I'm not counting that, because that is a different level of love than the things below)

Whole Foods
Bumble and Bumble Curl Conscious Conditioner and Creme (but it's stupidly expensive for conditioner)
Dr. Hauschka Mascara
Pixie
Mark Helprin's Books (when is he going to write a new one?)
The New Best Recipe cookbook
Mother Jones Magazine (Wow- where has this been my adult life? The last I remember, this was a grow-your-own type of rag in the 70s. The cover this month with George Bush as the melting Witch of the West is damn funny.)
Dooce.com
Sea Wolf

Just a totally random list of things I could think of quickly. No links, look 'em up yourself.

Oh yeah, and caffeine. Dude! I haven't had any caffeine to speak of for years, and Sunday I had a very dainty regular espresso in my favorite fashion, which is to say with a tiny dab of sugar and half-and-half. (In Healdsburg, where we went to a new shop called 14 feet- faboo). It was incredibly delicious, and I had such a nice time. I came home and organized my entire office, including the closet. I knew it was dangerous when I craved another hit the first thing the next morning, so I will avoid it again for a while.

This is my week for doctor and dentist check-ups, and then next Tuesday I am SO EXCITED to be going to a member preview at the spanking new Academy of Sciences. I have been waiting for this ever since they closed the Steinhart at the park.

This is it for now...need to see what my little dog is doing snuffling under the bed....

It's good to be back!

So Little Time

When I wrote the post title above, I really just intended to write about all of the things I am excited to do, to read, to see, to try, and how there never seems to be enough time to do them all. Then I thought of my grandma, who is back in the hospital today, and it seemed a little bit more weighty to contemplate, and those things to do lists awfully unimportant. Love your people. All of 'em, big and small.

Back in the Saddle Again

Thank you once again to everyone who has offered support, cooking help, cross-country emails and lots of positive thoughts.

Although each day has its ups and downs, Grandma and Grandpa are holding steady for now. She's even allowing kisses and hugs, and yesterday she told me that she finally got two good hours of sleep. Despite a rocky morning after, Grandpa was also able to catch up on a little shut-eye.

The last day I was there, I was talking with the caregiver about keeping Grandma happy and comfortable. I turned around to Grandma and said, "Grandma, are you happy?" and she said, "Oh, yeah, real happy!" Can't beat that.

Rosie the Riveter

First and most importantly, for those of you who have been worrying along with me, Grandma is not only still very much with us, she's doing absolutely great. I've been up in Tahoe with them both since Friday. She came home from the rehabilitation center on Saturday. She had a rough patch (putting it fairly mildly) and went back into the hospital, but yesterday and today she was again feisty and chatty. She asked for Grandpa to bring "some boxes of chocolate" for the nurses (which he did) and for a ride in the wheelchair (which she got). She ate her dinner last night "like an athlete" according to Grandpa.

When her doctor, who wasn't quite up to speed with her condition (and in my opinion, is not exactly an A student), came in to check on her, he said, "Rose, do you know who I am?" very slowly and loudly. Grandma looked at him, rolled her eyes at us and said, "Yes-- do you know who I am?" We cracked up. That's my Grandma! Those of you who know her, please do continue to send cards to her home address, as she is reading and saving every one.

Tomatoes

Two Quick Summer Recipes

Due to a host of circumstances, my posting has slipped a bit in the last two weeks. These past few days have been about getting things back in order around here, and yesterday afternoon I took a walk out to the big garden for the first time in weeks to see what was happening. I found myself in the midst of glorious summer. On top of the fragrant cantaloupe, fresh corn, skinny Japanese eggplant and tangy zebra and green grape tomatoes I found there, we also discovered a little nectarine tree in our backyard, laden with fruit. Here is what we made from the bounty:

Frozen Nectarine Margaritas
16 oz sliced fresh nectarines
2-3 shots tequila
Juice of 1/2 large lime or 1 small lime
1-2 tablespoons agave syrup, as needed, depending on sweetness of fruit
1 cup ice cubes
1/2- 1 cup water, if necessary to thin to drinking consistency

Blend until smooth, adding water to thin if necessary. To freeze nectarines, slice and arrange in a single layer on a parchment or plastic covered sheet pan. Freeze until solid. Store in zipper bags. Great in smoothies too. I keep these in the freezer throughout summer, adding new fruit as the supply is depleted. These are also good defrosted just a little bit for dessert, with ladyfingers and cream or by themselves. Frozen peaches and nectarines also work for pie and cobbler.


Gazpacho- basic recipe
4.5 lbs tomatoes
1 cup vodka (I'm assuming this is optional)
2 T lemon juice
1/2 T horseradish
1 T worcestershire
kosher salt to taste
1/2 to 1T tabasco (Can be added later to each serving)
1 gypsy pepper, diced
1 avocado, diced
fresh cilantro, basil, or parsley, chopped

Divide tomatoes in half. Roughly chop 1/2 and place in blender with ingredients up to kosher salt. Puree and strain. Dice the remaining tomatoes and gypsy pepper very small, and add to strained puree. Chill.

To serve, ladle into small bowls, making sure to get both soup and diced tomatoes, and add tabasco to taste. Top with avocado and fresh herbs. Creme fraiche would also be nice on top if you have it. I like this soup best topped with chilled crabmeat or shrimp. This time, I used the full tablespoon of tabasco in the whole batch of soup to be chilled. It was not too spicy for me, but I would have left it out if I had guests, because I think children would eat the soup without it. Too hot otherwise. Also substituted wasabe for horseradish. Either works.

Grandma

Thank you to those of you who have sent messages of support for my grandma. She is out of the hospital again and into a rehab facility after the latest stay in ICU, but she is definitely not out of the woods. It is a roller-coaster ride-- less for me than for my grandpa, who is still in Modesto with her. Your support has been so important to me. I hope you'll all continue to send good thoughts her way.

Before I Forget

I recently replaced my aging bathroom towels with these from Target. I had been looking and looking for just the right grassy green and couldn't find it in any catalog or store, not at Macy's, not even Garnet Hill or Pottery Barn. I came across these on the sale shelf at Target and bought one washcloth to take home, check the color, and run through the wash to see how it fared. The towels are surprisingly lush, fluffy and large. Besides the brights which are now on sale but may be in short supply (order them from Target.com if you can't find them locally), they also come in white and lovely sedate earth tones. I am so far very happy with the quality and feel. They feel much more expensive than they were.

The only drawback was that there were no matching bathmats. I like a washable towel-material bathmat, rather than one of those grungy, rubber-backed stringy things that always ends up permanently stained or stinky, so I guess the hunt is still on. Since hardly any of the furniture in the house we now live in belongs to us, when I buy things I'm furnishing the beach house in my mind. Instead of saying, "Will this match the sofa?" I think, "Will this match the off-white canvas Pottery Barn sofa with the striped rug under it?" or "Will this go with my orange and white paisley fluffy bed from Anthropologie?" Or my "retro-modern aqua naugahide (htfdy spell that?) settee?" Ok, not that extreme, but like that. And that is my way of explaining why I have grassy-lime towels even though my tile is beige and my bathroom floor is (ugh!) navajo red stone. You'll see.