Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Maryland Farmer

If you ever have the opportunity to watch the dubbed-for-TV version of Jackie Brown, get yourself a bowl of popcorn and prepare to crack up. I don't know who is responsible for the alternative language, but they must have had a great time. Still looking for the definitive list of all the substitutions.

Here are a few culled from the internet:
1. Mamajamma
2. Maryland Farmer (as in: Shut the farm up you farming Maryland farmer.)
3. Mud shoveler

These I managed to write down between belly laughs:
4. Melon-peeler (Picture Samuel L. Jackson saying, "You tell that farming melon-peeler I want my money.")
5. Motorscooter
6. Mortgage broker
and the mysterious
7. Mobyfinger
8. Snack was substituted for the s-word on more than one occasion.  (I don't want anymore of your snack, Mobyfinger!)

At Long Last

For all of you who have moved too far away to share this with me here in Napa. This is a little different from the original granola recipe I posted, but this is the real deal, brown-milk-making, addictive nuggets of molasses-y goodness that you know and love.

Auntie Tam's Molasses Granola

Mix together
6 C old-fashioned oats
1 C blanched, slivered almonds
1 T cinnamon
1 C unsweetened shredded coconut

*Melt together below ingredients and drizzle, stirring, into above
ingredients*
1/2 C brown sugar
1/4 C butter
1/4 C molasses, dark
1/2 tsp salt

1 cup raisins (or currants, or any other dried, unsweetened fruit)
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Oven 275 degrees, spread mix on parchment paper on deep-sided cookie sheet
or roasting pan (mine is 3-4" deep)
Bake for 30 minutes, stir
Bake for another 30 minutes
Stir in 1 cup of raisins, currants, dried blueberries, cranberries etc., and extra nuts if you like.
If necessary, bake for another 15 minutes, until evenly pale golden all over.
Cool completely and store in air-tight containers. Don't stir while cooling, as this is when the nuggets of molasses-covered goodies form.
I usually have to split the dry ingredients into two big bowls, as this makes a huge batch. Once the granola is in the pan, I also drizzle just a little more molasses in a thin stream across the whole thing to make sure there are plenty of nuggets. Iron and B vitamins! And deliciousness, of course.
Love,
Tamara